Jordan’s Birth Truth
Better Beings, meet Jordan Williams, a goddess in human form. She’s a mama to baby Julian, wife to Stephen, a genius geneticist and friend in my community. We met at The Movement Lab (when that was a thing back in the day) and I remember feeling instantly connected to her energy while we’d dance our butts off in class.
This woman is a powerhouse and, at the same time, the most real and relatable. She was gracious enough to share her feelings and insights on her pregnancy and postpartum journey here with us. So without further delay, this is Jordan’s Birth Truth.
What was your first pregnancy like? How did it make you feel?
My first pregnancy was amazing! To feel life move through me was incredible and indescribable. I would constantly touch my stomach and pray over my baby.
What was your education about your pregnancy like? Who told/taught you? Who did you trust or believe?
I was obsessed with deepening my understanding of pregnancy and childbirth so I did a lot of individual research reading books, attending seminars at our hospital and a local Birthing Center, cell phone tracking apps, watching documentaries, etc. At the beginning, I also was reading blogs with other pregnant women but oftentimes those blogs are filled with bad news so I decided that it was in my best interest to not read them anymore. Our midwife was a great resource and found that we trusted her most.
I also learned toward the end of my pregnancy that African-American women are 3-4x more like to die of pregnancy related issues. This terrified me into action. Although the reasons for this racial disparity are complex, I made plans to have a doula and I made my feelings/needs very clear to my midwife and my doula throughout my birthing experience.
What has been the impact on your health, outlook in life, or self-connection based on the education you received or lack thereof?
Being pregnant made it even more apparent how important mental and physical health is. The body is so incredible and it amazes me that it created a whole person. Without a mental thought on how this happens, my body just knew to grow a baby, move my organs, reroute nutrients, etc. I have a renewed sense of gratitude for my body. Knowing that my body could create a baby and nurse, even if I were unconscious, is an incredible thought.
How do you feel about your pregnancy or birth story now that you’ve had your own experience?
I had a fantastic pregnancy and I love every second of my birth story because I got Julian! I loved my experience with the midwives and having a minimally invasive birthing experience. I always wanted a “drug-free”, orgasmic birth experience… and although it was drug-free it was far from orgasmic. However, I would do it all over again!
What realizations did you have about yourself/your journey that might move you to change regarding your health and overall wellbeing?
I have learned to speak up more and be my own advocate. It really startled me that black women are more likely to die due to pregnancy related issues. I am now paying more attention to my body and my mind and speaking up when I feel like something is off.
What do you wish to share about pregnancy, labor, birth, postpartum experiences with other people who have children and for people who don’t?
Every birth experience is special, even if it doesn’t feel that way. I spoke with a couple of girlfriends who were worried because they did not have a euphoric feeling when they held their baby for the first time. I feel like we have created a childbirth “ideal” of painful labor involving kicking and screaming and then all that is washed away once you hold your baby but that is not always the case. Each person experiences birth differently and we need women to know that however they experience it, that is ok. Roll with it and allow your body to direct what needs to happen, whether that is the use of pain-medication, c-section, bottle feeding, pumping, nursing, etc.
Once you become pregnant, it somehow causes others to cast upon you a lot of “advice”. Not all of this advice is good for you and your family. You are not a bad mother if you choose your own path (as long as you and your baby are healthy).
What do you wish to share to the future generation of mothers and fathers?
Be kind and patient with yourself. Raising a baby is hard but the most amazing blessing in the world. You will make mistakes and that’s ok! Just because you have become a parent does not mean you somehow become infallible. Forgive yourself, learn, improve and love (yourself, your partner, and your baby!).
What’s your go-to/favorite holistic product or ritual for periods, pregnancy, labor, birth, or postpartum?
Pre-Pregnancy: My husband and I used the basal body temperature method for getting pregnant and it worked amazingly well! So one ritual I had was taking my temperature immediately after waking up every morning for almost a year. And I love my Menstrual cup!!
Pregnancy: Onbeat Fitness to keep my body moving!
After-birth: I love my placenta pills! OMG so many things!
ANYTHING else that you would like to share? This is YOUR story.
I was once told that my Nigerian last name meant “labor without pain”, and I truly thought that my labor would proceed with no pain. I even opted to go pain medication free. So when the contractions started, I was blown away by the amount of whole body discomfort. I am humbled by and grateful to all the women before me who experienced pregnancy and birth.
